Correct weight in men and women?

People often ask Cad this question.So I have devised this simple test........After a bath jump in the air,on landing see how long it takes for everything to stop jiggling and wobberling around. 1 to 2 seconds you are the correct weight.3 to 5 seconds you need to lose some porkie pig.Over 5 seconds, you will be in the papers,you have become a great fat freak show..........Get some self respect for the love of God.