Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Christians: I was ashamed of my faith... Please Help?

So I was in a Christian store in the mall today and I started talking to the girl about God and each others' faith. It was a great convo and all was going well until i had to leave. When i left, she offered me a prayer, and I was just confused as to how to answer to her. I had never really done public prayer before and I wanted to leave. I had things i needed prayer for such as my struggle with cussing, lusting, and consistency with God... however I just kept quiet for a second... Finally after an awkward moment, I agreed to the prayer... and while she prayed for me, i kept looking around and shifting weight. I couldn't focus on the prayer as I was too embarred about praying in public.... And then when someone walked by me, I felt a wave of embarrment overtake me and I just wanted it to be over more than anything in the world. When she stopped praying, I thanked her and left as fast as possible... When I left, i realized.... I was ashamed of my faith... I denied God... I have never felt so horrible about a sin in my life... On my way back from the mall, i even started feeling nauseated to my stomach... I cannot call myself a true Christian anymore... I dont even know what to do now, because if i pray, i feel like i'm not being genuine anymore. I feel like a total hypocrite... Please... someone help me... I want to restore my relationship with God again. Any advice would be appreciated... And Athiests, please dont bash on here. This is a real problem to me and I don't need some sarcastic answer meant for insulting me.

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